Day From Hell

Have you ever had one of those days you wish you could just redo or just plain erase? Yesterday was that day for me!

As I mentioned a couple days ago, Greg was out of town with Jordan for a college tour so Sydney and I were alone. Our morning started as usual, everything seemed fine...I pumped some breast milk so Sydney and I could go to our Tempe store so I could get some things done for Greg. I needed the bottle because I knew we would be gone for more than 2 hours (Sydney still eats about every two hours). I got us both ready and in the car and started the car and pulled out of the garage and Sydney started to have a melt down. So, I pulled back into the garage and tried to feed her the bottle. Everything went downhill from there! She refused the bottle (which she had also done earlier in the week). To make a VERY long story short, after butting heads with each other for 2 hours, she never did take her bottle or any other bottle for that matter. And, I couldn't breast feed her because I had just pumped and didn't have any milk left for her to eat!!! I tried 5 different nipples...all of which she refused! During all of the crying and screaming and trying different bottles, 2 wine glasses fell from the cabinet and shattered all over the counter tops and the floor, cutting my foot. Imagine this if you can, Sydney in her pink chair on the table screaming at the top of her lungs (choking and coughing due to the intensity) wine glasses shattering to the floor, me trying to wipe them up and cutting my foot and now getting blood all over the floor, Sydney still screaming, me pouring the breast milk from bottle to bottle praying she would latch on, which she never did, Ziggy howling because of Sydney's crying, Zoey barking because Ziggy is howling, and finally, Mommy crying!!! I felt like such a failure!

The day never did turn around for us...it was the worst day so far.

Early evening, Jamie called me and I was able to vent. She really helped me out mentally, thank you Jamie!!! I just have so many mixed emotions in regards to breastfeeding. It's something I am not going to give up but it is so hard for someone with my personality and lifestyle. I am not a stay home type of gal and I am not a breast feed in public gal. Sydney wants to be fed every two hours which doesn't leave time for us to be out and about since it takes so much time to get from one place to another. Not being able to get out is really taking a toll on my emotional being. So, today we are going to work on the whole bottle thing again. Greg is home so he will be the one to offer her some different types of nipples and see if we can figure this out!! Wish us luck!