Moments

I miss my Mother EVERYDAY, but some days more so...like today. I am not going to go in to a "poor me" mode because everyone has issues going on in their lives, us included. When I used to have days like this, I could always call my Mom and vent and never feel judged for having certain thoughts in my head; someone I could just say anything to and not be loved any less. Yes, I have an amazing husband who I can talk to, but it's just not the same. No one can replace my Mom when it comes to things like I am dealing with right now. One issue in particular is with my 20 year old nephew. His dad died this last weekend. He had been sick for some time because of his lifestyle. His body finally gave up. Unfortunately, Dylan had to make some very difficult choices when it came to his dads final days and the treatment that was and was not offered. They finally made the choice to respect his dad's earlier requests and turned off the machines. Dylan's dad died shortly after. I was immediately placed right back to 5 years ago, July 29th 2003, the day my Mother took her last breath. Please take a moment and pray for my nephew - anyone whom has lost a parent at a young age (or any age for the matter) has some idea of the pain Dylan is feeling right now.

So, to pull myself out of this rut today, I had to redirect my thoughts onto all of the positives in my life right now. I wanted to share some of them with you in regards to my daughter:

I am so grateful and blessed that I am able to stay home with my daughter. I wake up every morning to her sweet voice as she talks to her bear in her crib. She never wakes up crying. I then get to listen to her and Greg as they laugh and play as he changes her diaper and starts her breakfast. She wakes from every nap the same way, talking to her bear and baby and every time I go to get her out of bed, she gives me this unbelievable smile that brightens my day. Then we have a special moment where I pick her up from her crib and we rock in her chair. I start to sing her a song and she immediately puts her head on my shoulder and I sing to her for a few minutes. I LOVE these moments - moments I would never have if I had to go to work and put her in daycare. So, although money is so tight and our spending lifestyle is so different, I have these irreplaceable moments and memories. I could go on and on but these are the little-big moments in time that keep me going each day!

Updates

We took Sydney to a kids fair on Sunday. Not really what we had expected, but it was nice to get her around other kids. Yesterday, Sydney and I had another play date with the new mommy's group that we joined. We really had a good time. The other moms are so kind and down to earth. They are all around my age and are all stay at home moms (well, some of them work part time) so they all understand some of the struggles I deal with. Sydney walked pretty much the whole time we were there and was very caught up in all of the activities. She totally crashed in her car seat on the way home! I look forward to spending more time with all of these ladies. There is a planned playgroup every week and then a planned outing in the community every other week. October is full of fun things to do with Halloween. I need to come up with a costume for Sydney!!



As far as little Sydney's development...well, she is taller than most of the 2 year olds in our playgroup!! She is walking a lot but still likes to crawl when she is in a hurry to get from one place to another. She is such a monkey and is constantly crawling up furniture and big toys! She is also starting to get much more demanding and will definitely let you know what she wants - when she wants it! And if she doesn't get it, she will throw her head back with such force...it scares me!! I wonder how many times she will do this before she realizes she is hurting herself? She loves to play with Little People toys!!! She calls them her baby's and is constantly playing with them or is at least aware of where they are. She has several of the Little People and some Little People vehicles so now we need to get her a Little People building for her to use. It's so fun to watch her use her imagination as she plays with all of them.



So, I started this post a week ago and am just now getting back to it. It is now Sunday morning and we are going to be having another open house today. I feel it will be good. This house stuff has really taken a toll on us and we really need to get it all done with. We try to stay positive and keep our focus on what is most important...and that is our family! We are blessed to have each other. We are both ready for change and to move into our next phase of life. This house crap has really been holding us back. I made the first BIG change last night... I got 3 inches cut off my hair and got more of my natural color put back in (but kept some blond!!). I haven't had it this short in probably over 12 years...but I think I love it. I did have a panic moment when I saw all of the hair coming off, but then remembered why I was doing it and I knew it would all work out. I feel like a part of me is gone...a part of me that was holding on to something old - I can't really explain it any better than that! I feel lighter now and ready to move forward. It's amazing what a new hairdo can do for a woman!

Over the past week, Sydney has gone from walking and crawling to now just walking. She is just much to "mature" now for that crawling stuff!!! And, by the way, just casually walking won't cut it for my little one...sprinting is more her speed! She loves her daddy and will literally push me out of the way to get to him. I think it's because she really only gets to see him in the mornings during the week so when he is here, she wants his full attention.

Well, it's time to clean again! Everyone please send positive thoughts our way so we can get this house sold!!!!

Sydney is doing really good with walking now. She can walk clear across a room without falling down. It's so funny to watch! She got got really brave today and practiced reaching down and picking up toys as she was walking. She would then look up at me with a very proud expression on her face. She is just so cute!! Can you believe she is getting in two more teeth already!! And, the little stinker has figured out how to open the closet door. She is so tall!!

We had a play date today but when we went to leave, my car wouldn't start! So, we were stuck home all day...but we still had lots of fun. She is getting so cuddly with me and gives me lots of kisses throughout the day! Yesterday, I took her to the indoor play area at the Mall. She went nuts!!! We went early enough so as there were not many big kids there. In the past, the big kids have been too rough and I couldn't really let her do much exploring on her own. She had so much fun going from one piece of equipment to the next just laughing the entire time! Other parents kept commenting on how fun it was to watch her. She even figured out how to crawl all the way up the slippery slide. It was such a joy watching her having so much fun. When it was time to leave, she didn't fuss because she was so tired. We then went to see daddy for a bit at work and then it was naptime. After naptime, we went up the hill again in the jogging stroller. It was an awesome day!

Hi everyone!!

It's getting lonely here in blog town...I know people are reading Sydney's blog but no one is leaving us comments anymore:( We'd love to hear from you!!!

Sydney is doing incredible!! Today she practiced walking more frequently on her own. I have noticed that she does better when she doesn't know that I am watching her. I took her to play at the indoor children's area at the mall today. She was so excited when we walked onto the mats. It was perfect because there were hardly any big kids there, mostly kids her age. Just when she got brave and started exploring on her own, the security guard came over and announced they would be closing in 2 minutes for cleaning and wouldn't reopen for an hour. Or Lord, Sydney was not happy. Thank gosh non of the other kids were happy either because within 2 minutes, all the kids were crying because we had to all clear out...Sydney included!!

I guess we will have to try again tomorrow!

Jo Jo and Sydney

Jordan is in town this weekend for a quick visit. We visited with him for a bit at his mothers house today. It was very special to see Sydney and him interact again. She LOVES her Jo Jo!!

A Special Journey

The weather is starting to cool down just a little bit in the mornings and early evenings, which means Sydney and I can do more things outside. I have posted several times about this mountain that I hike and run. I have been hiking this mountain since the week I moved here - in 1996. Not only do I like this hill because it's a great workout...I also love it because it's a place I go to by myself to work things out in my head. If I am having a problem, I go there to process. I have processed many emotions regarding Greg and I before we got married, my mother being sick and then later dying, my miscarriages, etc. Well, today was a special day because I decided to take Sydney with me. It was VERY HARD pushing her up this hill, as parts of it are pretty steep. My legs and butt are killing today!! But it was just so amazing and emotional for me to take her to my special place. She had so much fun and so many people smiled and laughed with her as we walked by. It was lots of fun and lots of work!! We will definitely continue this hike together!

Enjoy the pictures...

Little Miss Personality

Our little one is definitely developing into her own little person with her own wants and dislikes. And boy, if she dislikes something, she will definitely let you know!!! She has began this new thing (well, actually, she has been doing it for some time now) where if she doesn't get what she wants, when she wants it, she drops to the ground and throws her head and body back. She has hurt herself a couple of times now by doing this. This morning, she was a little grumpy and she threw a toy in my direction because she was upset. At times, it's cute and funny, although, I NEVER let her see me laugh at it!!! Other times, it's concerning when she throws these little tantrums because she hits her head on things when she throws it back. It's also concerning because I realize it's only the beginning of many more tantrums to follow!!!

Yesterday, we had a little rain storm in the afternoon. We were bored so I took Sydney out into the back yard and we played in the rain. The wind started to pick up and we were both very wet, so I decided it was time to go back inside. Well, that isn't what little Sydney had in mind and she proceeded to throw a little tantrum on the living room floor. When she finally realized that I wasn't caving in, she came up to me and hugged me...very cute!

She is quite the little lover and often gives us hugs and kisses. She also gives many of her favorite toys "love" (hugs)! She has been doing well with night time sleeping. When she does wake up, she just plays a little and then falls back to sleep. She is completely weaned from breastfeeding and doesn't really seem to care. She still will not take much milk so I just keep offering it to her until eventually she will take it - just like she did with her water. And of course, she still loves to eat...anything!!

Weekend Updates

We had another nice weekend. We had more showings on the house and then yesterday afternoon, one thing led to another and we ended up having an impromptu pool party with our neighbors. Sydney had a blast in the pool with Daddy and was completely drained at bedtime. I didn't hear a peep out of her all night...and believe me, I was up ALL NIGHT so I would have heard her!

On Sat. evening when we took Sydney for her nightly walk, we saw 3 wild havoline's crossing the street in front of us from one side of the golf course to the other. We have seen many wild creatures in our wash but never wild pigs...it was pretty cool!

Sydney has transitiond so well from breastfeeding. It's almost like it didn't even phase her. I guess that means she was ready to be weaned. I, on the other hand, am still struggling a little. I have become pretty emotional every night at bedtime since we've weaned. It's silly, I know, but it's real emotion and I am working through it. This morning she was very cuddly with me during Sesame Street, so that really helped me feel close to her again. Hopefully, she continues to want to have this cuddle time with me.

I have an update on Jordan also, as many of you have asked me how he is doing. He seems to be adjusting well to his knew life. He has some pretty intense classes - and a pretty busy work load but I know he can handle it...he is very intelligent! Soccer is going well and he has already had some playing time - which is nice since he is a freshmen. It's quiet here without him. Everyday we show Sydney his picture on our desk and take Sydney in his room and say "Jo Jo"...her eyes perk up and she smiles as she looks for him. I am sad that they cannot spend more time together but I know that it will all work out and they will be close.

That's it for now. Have a good week everyone!

Closing a Special Chapter

Today was the first day of my daughters life that I did not breastfeed her all day. I am very torn by this tonight as I get ready for bed. Sydney did fine without her bed time feeding and went straight to bed as usual. I, on the other hand, am feeling a little empty. I am so proud of myself for breastfeeding her this long. I could have forced the bottle more and ended it all months ago, but I didn't. Now, I am not saying that women who don't breastfeed are doing something wrong - so don't get the wrong idea. What I am saying is that I am proud of the sacrifices that I have made over the last year, and looking back, I would definitely not change it. Breastfeeding was very difficult for me in the beginning but six months into the experience, I changed my attitude and learned to enjoy and look forward to our special time together. Now that it's over, I feel a void. I know it will get better and that we will find other ways to bond...but for now, I guess you could say that I am grieving a loss.

Updates

Hello everyone! We have had a busy few days around here. I last posted on the 2nd...the 3rd was my birthday. I started my day with cleaning since we had a showing on the house. Sydney and I then went shopping. Daddy surprised me and come home from work early with beautiful roses and said to get dressed up for a night of romance!! He then took me and our neighbors to a very nice restaurant and we had some amazing food and wine. He had even arranged ahead to have Jordan's girlfriend come over and sit at the house while we were gone!! We really had a nice time!

Yesterday was also a big day for Sydney and I. We joined a Mommy group and had our first play date at My Gym. It was so much fun for us and it was soooo nice to meet other stay at home moms to talk with. They welcomed us very warmly and we look forward to weekly visits with them here on in. Sydney got quite the workout (mommy too from chasing Sydney around) that she instantly fell asleep in the car on the way home!!

We are down to one breastfeeding session before bed. This weekend we are going to cut that one out and see how she does. I think she will do fine as she does fine during naps without the breastfeeding. It's so much more emotional for me than I ever thought it would be!

Baby sitters and no more breastfeeding...our little girl is growing up!!!
(take a deep breath Mommy...)

More Pictures!

Here are some more pictures!!!

We have had many storms come thru lately. Below is a picture from our deck of a beautiful rainbow!

Mommy and Sydney entering the zoo.

Here is Mommy and Sydney on the carousel. It was Sydney's first time on one and it started out pretty fast; however, our little one loved it and was all smiles soon after this picture was taken.

Here she is talking to the chickens...

Sydney and Daddy!

Our little funny girl!

Don't forget to look at the videos down below!

Videos!!!

It takes so long for video to download onto this website... I have been working on this all day! Here are some of the videos from our Minnesota trip. I have many more vidoes but it just takes so long to download them! Here is a video of Sydney playing in the grass for the first time. She's so quick to adjust to new situations.

Here is video of Aunt Susan's brand new puppy, Oreo, playing with Sydney. It was so cute!

Here's the Birthday Girl!! I still cannot believe she kept this birthday head band on the entire day! She loved the birthday cake...once she realized that she could eat it!

The next two videos are of Sydney taking her first steps...very cute and emotional for Mommy as you will hear!

The next video is from the Zoo. We were just so excited and amazed to be able to be so close to the giraffes.