Moments

I miss my Mother EVERYDAY, but some days more so...like today. I am not going to go in to a "poor me" mode because everyone has issues going on in their lives, us included. When I used to have days like this, I could always call my Mom and vent and never feel judged for having certain thoughts in my head; someone I could just say anything to and not be loved any less. Yes, I have an amazing husband who I can talk to, but it's just not the same. No one can replace my Mom when it comes to things like I am dealing with right now. One issue in particular is with my 20 year old nephew. His dad died this last weekend. He had been sick for some time because of his lifestyle. His body finally gave up. Unfortunately, Dylan had to make some very difficult choices when it came to his dads final days and the treatment that was and was not offered. They finally made the choice to respect his dad's earlier requests and turned off the machines. Dylan's dad died shortly after. I was immediately placed right back to 5 years ago, July 29th 2003, the day my Mother took her last breath. Please take a moment and pray for my nephew - anyone whom has lost a parent at a young age (or any age for the matter) has some idea of the pain Dylan is feeling right now.

So, to pull myself out of this rut today, I had to redirect my thoughts onto all of the positives in my life right now. I wanted to share some of them with you in regards to my daughter:

I am so grateful and blessed that I am able to stay home with my daughter. I wake up every morning to her sweet voice as she talks to her bear in her crib. She never wakes up crying. I then get to listen to her and Greg as they laugh and play as he changes her diaper and starts her breakfast. She wakes from every nap the same way, talking to her bear and baby and every time I go to get her out of bed, she gives me this unbelievable smile that brightens my day. Then we have a special moment where I pick her up from her crib and we rock in her chair. I start to sing her a song and she immediately puts her head on my shoulder and I sing to her for a few minutes. I LOVE these moments - moments I would never have if I had to go to work and put her in daycare. So, although money is so tight and our spending lifestyle is so different, I have these irreplaceable moments and memories. I could go on and on but these are the little-big moments in time that keep me going each day!