Missing Mom

I am really, really struggling today...I miss my Mom so much. I have been so busy with Sydney the last couple of weeks which has kept my mind distracted - but - today, I am at work and I keep thinking of my Mom. Very emotional, very difficult!

I have so many awesome memories of Christmas time with my Mom. Putting up Christmas decorations Thanksgiving weekend. Picking out the biggest, fullest Christmas tree was always the goal! We would go to a local tree farm to pick a tree out and cut it down ourselves. It was so much fun. It was always cold and snowing the day we chose to go. They would give us a little hand saw and then we would just wonder around until we found the perfect tree. We would be there forever - freezing our bums off - but it didn't matter because the perfect Christmas tree was just waiting for us - somewhere out there!! Once we found the perfect tree, we then needed to cut it down. I cannot tell you how hard we would laugh and cry trying to cut the perfect tree down! But, we never gave up! We would be exhausted once we finally cut the tree down and then the realization would sink in that we still needed to drag the tree all the way back to the barn (to pay for it) and then to our car! By the time we got home, we were pooped - but so eager to decorate that tree! They say that you are suppose to wait 24 hours before decorating your tree so it can settle. And most years, we were able to do that. But, sometimes, we just couldn't wait and we would decorate it right away! Big mistake!!

And then there was the Christmas shopping - it was never a matter of just getting a gift for someone - we really thought it out and wanted our gifts to be meaningful to our recipients. Oh yes, and making the Christmas goodies - even though they didn't always look so good, they were fun to make! So much laughter and tears of joy!

When I was younger, I always got to open one gift on Christmas Eve day. The gift was always my new Christmas outfit that I would get to wear later that night to Grandma Doris's house for our Christmas Eve celebration. I always felt so proud and excited to wear my new outfit. We didn't have much money so I didn't often get new clothes. Grandma Doris's house was always so much fun. Grandma, Grandpa John, us, my Mom's sister Linda and her huge family, and sometimes, uncle Paul would come and really make it all special. After Grandma Doris's house, we would drive around and look at all of the Christmas lights before going home. Once home it was off to bed so Santa could come - he still came when I was 26 years old!! The next morning was all about opening gifts and having egg bake and coffee. My favorite part of the morning wasn't getting my gifts, but watching my Moms face as she opened the gifts I bought her! I ALWAYS put a lot of emotion and love into the gifts I gave her - she deserved nothing less! I didn't get to go home for every Christmas after moving here - but I did get to go back a few times. I remember the 2nd to last Christmas that I went home, for Christmas I gave her a big Christmas ornament that I bought for her in England. I spent hours in a Christmas store looking for the perfect bulb to get her - as Christmas was so important to us - the bulb needed to have special meaning. From England, I also bought her a Dragonfly pin to wear on her shirt/coat. I remember the look on her face when she opened those gifts. Little did I know that would be one of my last Christmas's with her. I now have that Dragonfly pin and will some day pass it down to Sydney. Isn't it ironic that it's the same blue color of the Dragonfly that comes and visits us every spring/summer!

Today, she's all I can think about. I am trying so hard to focus on all of these wonderful memories but my mind slips and I start thinking about Christmas without her. I would give almost anything to have her at our house for Christmas this year and to experience having her with us as Sydney awakens Christmas morning and all of the Christmas magic of the day. I feel very cheated that I will never get to experience this with my Mom. I am trying so hard to continue her Christmas spirit for Sydney because I want Sydney to have the same type of joyous memories of Christmas that I do. What a gift that would be to my daughter. What a gift my Mom gave me for so many years. Man, I miss you Mom!

Elephant Update!

What an exciting morning!! I took Sydney to an assisted living facility to meet our friends from the MOM's group and we all sang Christmas carols to the residents. I had Sydney in her Santa dress and it was a big hit with the residence. We then had cookies and milk and played. As the kids were playing, I was talking with Director about this and that and the elephant issue came up. Wouldn't you know it, he said that Santa could come shop at their in house gift shop because they just happened to have elephants there. How lucky was that!! So I immediately emailed Santa back when we got home and let him know where he might find some of his toy elephants!!

My Email from Santa!!

So I had a talk with Sydney today in regards to her request to Santa that he bring her an Elephant for Christmas. Told her that Santa emailed me today to let me know that he is having a hard time finding his elephant toys and that he may have to bring Sweetie something other than an elephant. I then asked her what else she may want Santa to bring her if he can't find anymore elephant toys. She thought about that for a moment and then said "A big Teddy Bear!" I think Santa knows exactly where to find one of those!!!

My Sweetie!

As I was sitting with Sydney while she took her bath tonight, I asked her what she wanted Santa to bring her for Christmas. Up to this point, she has said she wanted an elephant. She put her finger up to her head and tapped it and said, "Hmm, let me think about that for a minute... (silence)...how about a donkey!" A DONKEY!!! Good Lord she is full of surprises!!

This morning we had our cookie exchange holiday party with our MOMS group in Tramonto. We held it at the park. Sydney loved playing with her friends. She played on the "big kids" equipment and went down all of the slides herself!! We stayed longer than everyone else because Sydney wanted so swing. As I was pushing her she was singing a song she made up about swinging. Then she stopped singing, looked at me and said so sweetly, "Mommy, I love you!" Oh my gosh, of course there were tears from Mommy! A beautiful moment.

We came home and napped and just hung out at home for the rest of the day. We have been so busy the last week - it was nice to just be home.

Christmas Pictures

And the Christmas preparations continue...

Below is Sydney's Santa picture!!!

I can always tell when Sydney is a little nervous because she plays with her hands, thus, the reason why her hands look so funny in the above picture!! If you think about it, it must be pretty scary for kids with the whole Santa thing because we just put them in the lap of a complete stranger in a red suite - yet, we teach them "stranger danger". She handled it very well, considering!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Her Santa dress!!

Look for more pictures in your mailboxes:)

2009 Christmas Preparations!!

Christmas preparations are in full swing at the Wade residence!! We have been busy shopping, baking, shopping, decorating, shopping...

This year has been so much fun preparing for the holidays because Sydney is starting to understand the magical joy that this time of the year brings. You should have seen her the day I started putting the Christmas Tree up. Everything I pulled out and held up was followed by a gasp of excitement and curiosity! I felt like a little girl again - the Christmas magic from my youth was reignited! Below is a picture of Sydney and our Christmas stockings. She pulled them out of the box when I was putting up lights, put them on her feet, and told me to look. When I turned around and saw that she had put the stockings on her feet, I cried I was laughing so hard. And then I thought, "well why wouldn't she think that's what they were for? After all, they are socks!"

And then we went to see Santa!! She was soooo excited to go see him. No fear at all!

Silly face!!
And below is some video we took just before she sat on Santa's lap. I don't know who is more excited - Sydney or Mommy!!

I have another video of her getting on Santa's lap and talking to him but for some reason it won't download onto my blog - I've tried numerous times!!

As you recall, I signed Sydney up for some Wee Ballet classes. There were only 4 classes total. The first class started out a little rocky as she cried at the beginning. However, before the 1st class ended, she was smiling and dancing around. Our second class went good and I enjoyed dancing around with Sweetie. The 3rd class, we brought Nana and Daddy. With such and audience, Sydney put on quite a show and left her listening ears at home. As you will see in the video below, Mommy did most of the "dancing" and Sydney did her own thing!

I definitely worked up a sweat in this class!! We are looking forward to more classes at the community center in 2010!

I have more Christmas pictures to come.

Running Update

Just a quick update on my running...ran the Fiesta Bowl 5K race this morning (it was 38 degrees out when I left my house!!) and I actually WON a medal!! I placed 2nd in my age group of women - medals go out to overall winners and then top 3 finishers of each age group/gender. I am so thrilled!! I placed 2nd out of 67 women between 35-39 years old!! My pace was 8.29 per mile. Completed the run in 26.21 minutes!! First race I have completed that I actually feel good about my results!!!