Rememberance

This morning, I saw a commercial for a 4th of July celebration and thoughts immediately began to flood back to me in regards to last year at this time. Greg took me to Mexico for the 4th of July last year. I can't say we were really celebrating...if anything, we were escaping reality for a long weekend.

Let me explain...last year at this time, I was pregnant for the 2nd time. I had my second miscarriage in June. We were both devastated to say the least. So many questions, so many emotions, so much emptiness. Everything just seemed so cruel and unfair. Once I was completed with the miscarriage, which was extremely painful not only emotionally but also physically, and once the doctor cleared me, Greg and I took a trip to Mexico. It was just the two of us, spending time together, appreciating each other. We were the only two people in the whole world who knew exactly what the other person was trying to cope with.

I will never understand why I lost two babies. The medical professionals say it was a "chromosome defect" and it was for the best, and maybe it was, but to me, they were already our babies. I had already bonded with them and loved them so much. I am so very blessed to be pregnant now and am very grateful to soon be a mom. A doctor once said to me after my second miscarriage, "You'll get pregnant again, have a beautiful baby, and will forget you even had to experience your miscarriages." I am sure she said this out of support; however, I can promise you this, I will NEVER forget the babies that I lost and I ask all of my loved ones to also never forget that they did exist...maybe not for long, but they did exist and I loved them.

I don't want to end this posting on a negative note. If anything, life has come full circle for us. This year on the 4th of July, we have so much to be grateful for and to celebrate. We are all truly blessed.