Missing My Mom

Six years ago today, I held my Mom's hand as she took her last breath and passed.

I still cry, I still remember the pain, I still remember my last words to her as I said goodbye to her lifeless body...

I still feel like it's not fair and that my heart is being ripped out of me. So much I'd like to say wishing I could feel her arms around me once again...

Then I look at my sweet, sweet daughter and I remember that life has to go on. I cannot taint the memories of my Mom with pain and sadness. It's not what she would want. She would want me to LIVE and to LOVE and to EXPERIENCE.

For those of you who still have your Moms and daughters with you, hug them frequently and hard. Really feel the hug. It's a precious gift that will one day be gone.

I know in my heart that she is still with us. I sometimes see her in Sydney's eyes. And, if I really clear my mind and meditate, I can feel her warmth around me. God blessed me with an amazing Mom and I will always be grateful for her.

I love you Mom
XXOO

2 Year Old Pictures!!!

Picture overload below!!! Getting Sydney's 2 year old pictures taken was such a workout!! I am soooo thankful that JoJo was there to help us. We could not get Sydney to sit still for anything!! Finally, after the first 50 shots with little success, I bribed Sweetie with some food!!! In the end, we did end up with three nice poses and I will be giving those out when we come to Minnesota. Below are pictures we did not keep but do have on a DVD. Enjoy!!!

My silly girl!!! I still cannot believe she is going to be 2!!! What a joy it has been to be a part of her life!!!

Our Visitors

We have been getting some amazing wildlife encounters the last week in our back yard. Below are the two owls that usually sit in the tree but for some reason have decided to move more into the yard. The first two pictures are of the smaller white owl. And the bottom pictures are of the larger brown owl. Enjoy!

Here (she) is sitting on the rock by our pool. Look at those beautiful eyes and those huge claws!!

What a beautiful animal!

These pictures were more difficult to take because it was during one of our monsoon storms (well the beginning of one) and the owl kept moving around a lot! Plus I am taking it from in the house!

I wish I could have captured a picture of what he was doing in between these shots - the wind would pick up and he would spread his wings and stretch his head - he was huge!! Sydney and I watched in awe from the sliding glass doors. She kept saying "Hi Mr. Owl"!

Note to Self:
When out and about with Sweetie, whether at a store or restaurant, etc., and the nice person serving you asks you if your cute daughter can have a balloon...STOP & THINK...don't give in to the temptation of how excited your Sweetie will be when she sees her bright balloon and how much fun she will have running around in the family room with it when we get home...Cuz guess what...first you gotta get the balloon home in one piece!!!

OMG, Sydney was so excited to get a balloon today at Trader Joes. We got to the car and she wanted to hold it but I could see that it wasn't going to work because she was squeezing it so tightly that it was ready to pop and I didn't need a huge balloon popping in the car and scaring the holy crap out of me while I was driving. So, I tied it to the front seat where she could still see it and interact with it some. Keep in mind that it was like 110 degrees out and my car was silly hot - and I still had to load her into her hot seat, put the groceries in the car and get myself in. Can we say "sweaty mess"!! Needless to say, Sweetie wasn't happy that she couldn't hold her balloon and thru a fit the whole way home. So, for 15-20 minutes, I had the pleasure of sitting in a ridiculously hot car, in Arizona rush hour traffic, listening to the dramatic crying and screaming from my Sweetie. As we pulled into the driveway, she stopped screaming at me and said very calmly, "I feel better now" and that was that!! Like nothing ever happened!! As I pulled my white knuckled hands off the steering wheel and unloaded the car in my 200 degree garage, I looked into the laundry room and saw Sweetie holding her balloon and smiling...as if nothing ever happened!! Two thoughts came to my mind:
1st thought - "Why didn't I buy some wine at the store"
2nd thought - "I have the most amazing little girl ever"!!

Cute Pictures

There is always something going on at the Wade Residence with Sweetie around!! She loves to wear my shoes...and not just any shoes...my platform shoes!! I don't even wear them anymore because we never go out for me dress up! At least someone is getting some use out of them!

Here she is wearing my black shoes, posing, & giving me the Popeye face!!

Here she is trying to walk up the stairs in my shoes...very interesting!!

Craft time!! We have craft time everyday to keep her creative energy going strong!!

At work this week I unpacked some products noticed this bubble plastic that I knew Sydney would love. It's got really big bubbles on it that are really loud. I was right, she loved it. She kept running across it on the floor so it would pop really loud under her feet.

Then I wrapped her up in it like a mummy!!

Cheap entertainment to utilize when it's 110 degrees outside!

And here is Daddy's Father's Day gift!! He wears it whenever he has a project do to around the house. Today he was hanging a new light. It turned out beautifully!! Such a handsome handyman! I keep trying to get him to wear this shirt into Home Depot...DENIED!!

"Every Little Thing, is Going to be Alright"

Hopefully, tomorrow I will have some extra time and I will post some recent pictures of Sydney. For now, I just wanted to share a very cute little story...

This morning, we had to go to a funeral. Our friends Mother died. Very sad. We left early for the funeral because it was a distance away. I printed directions from Mapquest ahead of time - trying to be prepared. Well, the directions we got were not accurate and we ended up somewhere else. Of course, we were getting frustrated because we both realized that now we were going to be late for the funeral. Sydney, bless her heart, was in the backseat observing and listening to us. Needless to say, one of us doesn't mask frustrations too well...Sydney totally picked up on this and all of a sudden started singing the song that goes like this:

"Don't worry, 'bout a thing, every little thing, is going to be alright!!"
(Theme song from Shark Tails)

I had to laugh. I pointed out to Greg what she was singing and then I started singing it with her. She was right...even though we were running late, "every little thing was going to be alright!" Our 23 month old daughter was thinking more rationally than us!!!

She amazes me!!!

Pictures

Although I have a million things I should be doing right now while Sydney is sleeping, I just couldn't bare dusting one more shelf or picking up one more toy!!! It's all I seem to do anymore - clean, clean, clean!!!

I am thoroughly enjoying my days with Sydney right now. She is so much fun to be around. She is constantly saying or doing something silly - something you just wouldn't expect. She's got such a fun personality and I am so proud! Like yesterday morning, she kept walking around and kicking her leg backwards and holding it for as long as she could. Greg and I thought maybe she was just practicing her balancing. Then later on in the day she did it again and then announced, "Look Mommy, I exercise like Mommy!" She was trying to do some leg exercises that I do from home. It was so cute. And, what a good influence it is for her to see me exercising - to learn the importance of taking care of herself.

Below are some cute pictures from the last couple of days. She loves to help me with anything in the kitchen so we have been spending a lot of time in there cooking treats we don't need and lots of cleaning up!!!


Sydney washing dishes.

She was not happy that I interrupted her show to take a picture...can you tell??

A rare moment caught on camera of Ziggy and Zoey actually touching each other!! Ziggy has become so grumpy since Sydney has come along. He usually doesn't even come out of the dog room anymore when Sydney is awake. It breaks my heart that he has pulled away from us so much. He was my first "baby".